Kids. Kids! Kids?

Adam and I had our second pre-martial counseling sessions with our pastor last week.   Before we started, we had to take a relationship survey online and our pastor uses the data from that to base our discussions on.  The results were pretty accurate and interesting to see.  While there were a few things we were surprised about and/or disagreed with the results on, we pretty much knew exactly what are core issues were.  The first major one came up last week:  children.

Adam and I are pretty much in agreement on this; we don't want children.  I guess this seems weird coming from a teacher, so rather, we don't want children...now.

I like kids.  I wouldn't spend my entire day with them if I didn't.  I like holding babies and watching them fall asleep in your arms and making dumb faces that get them to laugh.  But when I think about going home and doing that for the rest of my evening, it seems exhausting.  I like not worrying about anything but myself and what's for dinner.  I like the fact that if I have grading or lesson plans to work on, Adam can entertain himself with videogames and I'm not neglecting my children.

Adam most certainly agrees, in fact, more than I do. Adam doesn't really like kids.  He avoids my school-related functions like the plague.  He doesn't really know what to say to these kids (they're high schoolers, but it is all the same to him!), and you can tell he was the youngest in his family. Unlike me, he was never really around children. Adam doesn't think he'll ever want kids, and this is where we differ.

While I know that I am, in no way, prepared to children at this point in my life, I imagine that will change.  Will I ever feel that emptiness/longing for children or will I be able to fulfill it vicariously through other people's children? Most importantly, if I do develop this desire, will Adam do the same?  Are we both just young and have been together for so long that we are just longing to take the next step into marriage and could care less about what happens next, including children?

Clearly, Adam and I have no clue what will happen in the future.  We've discussed this whole children thing, long before the pastor-talk.  It does make me curious for the future though.  I've pretty much declared that if I ever want children and Adam still doesn't, I have to be okay with that.  I can't pretend like it was ever a surprise that Adam wouldn't want children and I didn't know what I was getting myself into.  Children are a large enough task when you have two committed individuals.  It makes me kind of sad to think of us as the childless couple, but then I think of all the puppies (no metaphor, just puppies) we could raise, I think we'll be okay.  Adam likes dogs.

So, that's where it's at.  I know as soon as the wedding is over, people are going to start asking.  It seems like there is no filter for people when it comes to babies.  They act like they've never raised children before and it's the most lighthearted of decisions.  I can just imagine the barrage of questions we are going to get asked:
- When are you going to start a family?
- Are you guys trying yet?
- You don't want to have children?

My and Adam's mothers are no help either;  both of them are in Grandma Mode. While I am the oldest in my family, Adam is the youngest in his, with no grandchildren on either side.  We tried to warn the both of them, but they don't seem to take us seriously!  I'd hate to leave them grandchild-less, but that's what our siblings are for, right?

So what do you think?  Am I doomed for disappointment when mother nature starts calling? How did you feel about children before marriage...and after? Were you and your significant other on the same page about children?

Temporary Hiatus (excuses included)...

WOW.  It has been a crazy couple of weeks!

After Adam and I got back from Denver on Monday (the 30th), I left again on Friday (the 3rd) to go on a cruise with my family.   It was definitely a last minute deal; my parents had the vacation time and they called the travel agent 10 days before we set sail!  My brother will be a graduating from high school next May and I will be getting married next June, so they figured this could be our last big family vacation.  Adam, unfortunately, wasn't invited...but I wasn't about to turn down a free cruise despite that!

You can't turn down a view like that! (Cozumel, Mexico)

At Paradise Beach (Cozumel, MEX)

 (Cozumel, MEX)

Cozumel Port (Puerta Maya)

Getting ready for dinner!

 Salsa dancing lessons with Dad

 Uxmal Mayan Ruins

The Mayans were short people.

Almost back to Galveston, TX

Zur got a souvenir.

So, I got back on the next Thursday night (the 9th) and Adam and I proceeded directly to the bars for a goodbye party for one of his coworkers.  Then on Saturday we went car shopping for Adam.

  

Adam getting one last moment with his Ranger (he's had it the entire time I've known him)

...and saying hello to car payments...and reliability :)

Sunday we had my belated birthday gathering with my dad and grandparents.

ANDDD this week I've been spending some time trying to get my classroom back into shape.  Since I will only be TEACHING IN ONE BUILDING (!!!!!!), I am trying to combine two classrooms worth of crap teaching resources into one room with no storage. I'll post a picture for you guys when it is camera ready!

So those are my excuses!  I hope they adequate enough.

In wedding related news...we met with a pastor in between getting back from Denver and me leaving for the cruise.  Since we don't have a church home, we went through the university's Ecumenical Campus Ministries.  Our pastor (I think I can officially call him that!) mainly deals with college students, so I didn't feel so guilty about sharing that we've lived together for seven years and don't go to church.  He was incredibly understanding and willing to work with us in planning our wedding.

We each took a relationship survey this evening and whatever our "scores" indicate will be the topic of discussion during our pre-marital counseling.  After those 3-ish sessions, we can start planning out the ceremony!  Let's just hope we're not doomed!